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501 Excuses For A Bad Golf Shot

Autor: Justin J Exner
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN: 1492689041
File Size: 6,97 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
Read: 9223
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You can blame your job... You can blame the course... You can blame mother nature... Or you can blame your equipment... But Never, Ever, BLAME YOURSELF!

Funny But True Golf Anecdotes

Autor: Dick Crouser
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 145167077X
File Size: 14,71 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
Read: 7692
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An Entertaining Gift of Golf Humor In this collection of over 175 golf anecdotes, you’ll find entertaining stories about Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Ernie Els, Jim Furyk, Bubba Watson, Rory McIlroy, Rickie Fowler, David Feherty, Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Ben Hogan, Sam Snead, Bobby Jones, and their friends. You’ll enjoy sharing them with your golfing partners on the putting green or at the 19th hole! An Entertaining Gift of Golf Humor In this collection of over 175 golf anecdotes, you’ll find entertaining stories about Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Ernie Els, Jim Furyk, Bubba Watson, Rory McIlroy, Rickie Fowler, David Feherty, Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Ben Hogan, Sam Snead, Bobby Jones, and their friends. You’ll enjoy sharing them with your golfing partners on the putting green or at the 19th hole!

How To Really Stink At Golf

Autor: Jeff Foxworthy
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0345513320
File Size: 5,22 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
Read: 4152
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As a longtime golfer, Jeff Foxworthy has learned something important about the grand auld game: It’s not who has the highest score, it’s who has the least fun playing it. And now, in his hilarious primer How to Really Stink at Golf, Foxworthy shares his invaluable tips for a lifetime of horrible drives and putts. • Get into the right frame of mind to play truly awful golf. Food poisoning or a killer hangover might be just the ticket to a robust three-digit score. • Try to get to the course promptly at tee time to avoid the hassle of warming up: “You’re only gonna hit five good shots in the course of the day; why waste even one on the driving range?” • The surefire way to screw up a great drive? As you walk to the tee, keep telling yourself, “Don’t screw up your drive.” If bad golf’s your goal, stress is your best friend. • Avoid fun. “Fun = relaxed = low scores . . . and that’s something we want to avoid at all cost. If you have a good hole, shake it off.” • Perhaps the most important element: Embrace the fact that you do stink at golf. Cheating. Cursing. Avoiding fairways. Reckless cart driving. How to Really Stink at Golf covers it all, from selecting the correct putter to use on a 385-yard drive to prolonging your stay in the sand trap to picking the perfect foursome for spectacularly bad golf (“you, your ex-wife, your girlfriend, your wife”). With Jeff Foxworthy as your guide, even a scratch golfer can add ten, twenty, maybe thirty strokes to his or her score–and possibly more if you attempt to play the back nine, too. From the Hardcover edition.

Why You Suck At Golf

Autor: Clive Scarff
Publisher: Ravenrock Publishing Incorporated
ISBN: 9781927069059
File Size: 4,32 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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Do you suck at golf? Do you know someone who does? While written in a tongue-in-cheek style, Why You Suck at Golf is an informative and education manual chronicling the most common mistakes golfers make when playing this wondrous game. From arriving too late for your tee time, to trying to keep your head too still, if there is a common, easily correctible mistake a golfer makes it is in this book. 52 chapters in all, each discussing a mistake and how to correct it. So whether you want to have a little dig at the golfaholic among your friends or family, or serious about eradicating shot-costing mistakes in your game, "Why You Suck at Golf" is a must read. Written by Teaching Professional Clive Scarff, author of the #1 ranked "Hit Down Dammit " golf instruction book, also available on Amazon.

God Loves Golfers Best

Autor: Ray Foley
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN: 9781402247477
File Size: 8,66 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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God Loves Golfers Best is the ultimate collection of golf jokes, quotes, and cartoons sure to tickle the funny bone of any avid duffer. A perfect gift or self-purchase for the golf fan in your life! Examples from God Loves Golfers Best: Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green, and end up in the hole. What should you do if lightning strikes during your round? Walk around holding a 1-iron, because even God can't hit a 1-iron! A man is getting married and is standing by his bride at the church. Standing beside him are his golf clubs and bag. His bride whispers, "What are your golf clubs doing here?" The groom replies, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?" In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.

50 Reasons To Hate Golf And Why You Should Never Stop Playing

Autor: Fred Fruisen
Publisher: duopress
ISBN: 1938093860
File Size: 10,20 MB
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Every golfer has a love/hate relationship with the game. What we love about golf one day, we curse at the next. We've all been frustrated to the point of breaking our clubs or vowing to sell them, announcing our departure from this infuriating sport only to show up at the course the next day, excited to play again. Golf is a game that teases, thrills, torments, and teaches. 50 Reasons to Hate Golf and Why You Should Never Stop Playing is a hilarious look at this addictive, wonderful, strange, beautiful, exasperating, mystifying sport and the culture surrounding it that people have been obsessed with for more than 500 years. With an introduction by Chris Rodell, author, columnist, and golf fanatic. Featured in the Golf Channel.

Golf Joke Book

Autor: J. Alexander Poulton
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781897277522
File Size: 27,86 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
Read: 7339
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Mulligans, holes-in-one, men vs. women, impossible shots... the best way to deal with your golf addiction is to laugh at it: * One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sheer nightie. ''Tie me up,'' she purred, ''and you can do anything you want.'' So he tied her up and went golfing. * Did you hear the one about the wife who got hit in the head with a golf ball on the first hole and died? The husband was so distraught he only played the front nine. * Q: What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? A: Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards. * Wife: You think so much about your golf game you don't even remember when we were married. Husband: Of course I do, dear. It was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt. * The difference between golf and tennis is that tennis is murder -- you just want to kill the other player -- but golf is suicide -- you just want to kill yourself.

Golf It S A Funny Old Game

Autor: M. Prefontaine
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781543284973
File Size: 19,47 MB
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For us rabbits the game of golf is a constant battle between fantasy and reality. The great hopes and ambitions that accompany us on the first tee quickly evaporate by a combination of mother nature, gravity and the cruelest of luck. One of the charms of the Great Game is that we are constantly chasing what is, in theory, attainable but in reality highly elusive. It is a perpetual series of occasions for hope. David Feherty summed it up when he said; "Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle." It is astonishing how long the occasional miracle can remain in the memory to the total eclipse of all else. Golf is a game whose hook is baited with hope. This book is a compendium of quotes from players who have been similarly troubled by the journey from great hopes to cruel reality. I hope you enjoy their reflections.

Golf For Dummies

Autor: Gary McCord
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 1119943795
File Size: 6,36 MB
Format: PDF
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The fun and easy way to get into the swing of things and take strokes off your game – fast Whether you're a total beginner or you've clocked a few hours on the links, Golf For Dummies, 2nd Edition is the only guide you need. Packed with expert tips and techniques for everything from mastering your grip, stance and swing to shaping up with golf-specific exercises, this updated and expanded edition of the international bestseller features new, step-by-step photos, tips for women players, seniors and lefties, and loads of fun golf history facts. Learn your ABCs – master the basics, from golf lingo and choosing your clubs, to who to play with and where Watch your step – get the lowdown on golf rules, how to keep score, and take a crash-course on gamesmanship and the do's and taboos of golf-course etiquette Get into the swing – delve into the art and science of the golf swing, including how to blast your way out of bunkers and how to develop an effective putting stroke Tackle the tough shots – finesse difficult shots like a pro and deal with bad weather and bad luck with grace and skill Fine-tune your play – zero in on common faults and bad habits and learn time-tested techniques for easily fixing them once and for all To school or not to school – decide whether formal lessons are right for you and find out how to select a great teacher 'If you've ever wanted to know more about golf or improve your game then this is your guide' – The Fairway, from a review of the 1st edition 'Does exactly what it says on the tin!' – Today's Golfer, from a review of the 1st edition Open the book and find: Tips on choosing golf balls and clubs Exercises for getting and staying in golf shape How to develop your own swing Putting, chipping and pitching Mastering grip, stance and swing Simple fixes for common faults Golf rules and etiquette Advice on taking advantage of high-tech equipment Where to play in the UK and Europe Learn to: Master your grip, stance and swing Improve your game with tips from the pros Overcome the game's mental challenges with tricks and exercises

A Round Of Golf Jokes

Autor: Helen Exley
Publisher: Helen Exley Gift Books
ISBN: 9781846342288
File Size: 29,24 MB
Format: PDF
Read: 7877
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For all golf addicts from the duffer to the pro - this little book is packed with the best jokes and funniest quotations. Illustrated by Bill Sott's hilarious cartoons.

Remarkable Golf Courses

Autor: Iain T. Spragg
Publisher: Pavilion Books
ISBN: 191159575X
File Size: 7,88 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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Remarkable Golf Courses encompasses the extremes of the sport – from the highest golf course in La Paz, Bolivia, to the lowest, in Death Valley, USA; from the most northerly in the Arctic Circle to the most southerly in Tierra del Fuego. The many quirks of the golfing world are covered, such as the 18th green the other side of the River Lea which is serviced by an electric ferry, or the LA golf course that has its own funicular railway, or the floating golf hole in Idaho, where it’s not just the pin position that’s changed every day, it’s the distance from the shore! Golf courses that feature neolithic standing stones (Scotland), Roman roads (England), and ruined medieval castles (Wales) take their place alongside the old temples of Delhi or a UNESCO World Heritage bridge that is used to link the 9th and 10th at Angkor Wat. There are the beloved classic courses of St. Andrews, Carnoustie, Royal St. George and Westward Ho!. There are spectacular golf courses hewn out of the Nevada and Arizona desert, green oases in a cactus-strewn, rocky landscape, along with Hawaiian courses fringed by barren black lava flows. But nothing can beat the thrill in Guatemala of lining up your drive on an active volcano at the Fuego Maya course. In comparison there are the traditional wind-blown Scottish links, such as the Machrie Hotel on the island of Islay which has the most blind greens on any course, or the remote Isle of Barra where greens are only accessible via a kissing gate. Fancy swapping countries mid-round? You can at the Llanmymynech club in Wales. At the fourth hole golfers tee off in Wales and putt out on the green in England. Remarkable Golf Courses brings together some astonishing stories with some extraordinary photography.

Cranky Old Golfers

Autor: Forrester Mitchell
Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd
ISBN: 1780889305
File Size: 13,17 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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This new book is a humorous and honest account of golf that will appeal to golfers of all ages, but especially to the cranky old golfers themselves. It’s a perfect and fun gift for all those with cranky old golfers in their lives, and is written by a 21 handicap player with thirty years of dedicated ‘hacking’ behind him.

Don Ts For Golfers

Autor: Sandy Green
Publisher: A&C Black
ISBN: 140810671X
File Size: 10,27 MB
Format: PDF
Read: 705
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A fascinating pocket sized nostalgic insight into sports etiquette in the 1920's.

How To Line Up Your Fourth Putt

Autor: Bobby Rusher
Publisher: Doubleday Books
ISBN: 9780385518956
File Size: 24,32 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
Read: 1740
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A humorous parody of self-help instructional golf manuals furnishes advice on how to swing without injuring yourself or your loved ones, use profanity to maximize earnings on the golf course, get more distance off the shank, and more. 75,000 first printing.

Golf Rules And Etiquette For Dummies

Autor: John Steinbreder
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 111806948X
File Size: 7,95 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
Read: 4818
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How to stick to the rules -- and avoid the traps of the game Filled with tips and anecdotes from the pros plus the 34 rules of golf, this ideal companion to the top-selling Golf For Dummies, 2nd Edition includes: Expert advice on the do's and don'ts of golf etiquette -- from dress code to betting on the game Advice on how to survive a business golf outing -- plus tips on behavior as both a spectator and a player The inside scoop on proper etiquette, from replacing divots to using your cell phone

The Little Book Of Golf Tips

Autor: Peter French
Publisher: Absolute Press
ISBN: 9781472954510
File Size: 20,77 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
Read: 9375
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A huge helping hand for your handicap, The Little Book of Golf Tips will see you swing, chip, pitch, and putt with a touch more confidence and technique. Tips that will take you from tee to pin, extricate you from bunkers and other bad lies, and get you around 18 holes and back to the clubhouse in true and trimmer fashion. A book to putt into the hands of all who have ever swung and missed, burrowed deep into bunkers, or 3-putted from three inches.

But You Re A Horse

Autor: David Bussell
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 9781291742756
File Size: 21,63 MB
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As featured in The Guardian. From the internet mischief-maker who brought you the "Knock Knock Hijack," in which he ran away with a friend's Facebook joke to hilarious effect, and "Hotel Graffiti," a series of peculiar messages hidden in hotel rooms around the world, comes "But... You're a Horse," a collection of pranks, anecdotes and gags that have nothing whatsoever to do with the cover of the book containing them. David Bussell's work has been featured in The Telegraph, The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, B3TA, Digital Spy, and (quite without his permission) The Daily Mail. Things people have said about David Bussell: "Hilarious" Graham Linehan (Father Ted, The IT Crowd). "Really good" Shane Allen (BBC Controller of Comedy Commissioning). "Ha " Sam Bain (Peep Show, Fresh Meat).